Erica Found Strength in God
When I arrived at Abba’s House six months ago, I had just one week clean. I’d left my apartment and everything I owned to come here with the hope of reuniting with my seven-year-old son. My family dropped me off and wished me the best. I had no Department of Social Services case, just a determination to create a better life for us both.
This is actually my second time at Abba’s House. I completed a six-month program two years ago, but things were different then. I had an ex-boyfriend who was supporting me financially, but I gave him all my emotional energy instead of my child. I gave him all my love, all my opportunities—everything that should have gone to my son. When that relationship ended and I couldn’t keep up with my apartment, I knew I needed to return, but this time with a different focus.
The difference now is remarkable. I’m able to function as a normal human being. I can breathe in and breathe out confidence. I’ve learned from other women that it’s okay to mess up and have vulnerable moments. At Abba’s House, you know you’re in safe hands. You know that your words are valued.
Before, I was what I call a “rickety-rocky bridge”—an emotional roller coaster, unstable, undependable. My words didn’t carry weight, and my emotions would get torn up over something subtle. But now, with the help of the staff and the program, plus some medication from the doctor here, I’ve found stability I never had before.
The other women have been instrumental in my growth. When I first arrived, I was a mess. They would talk about me, saying, “This girl’s a mess. Leave her alone.” Some of it was earned—I won’t deny that. But as they saw me beginning to communicate and advocate for myself, they gave me the benefit of the doubt.
Learning to stand my ground has been transformative. In the past, when conversations got difficult, I would walk away or not put any effort into resolving issues. Now, I stand up for what I believe should be in place in my life. I’m hoping to show this strength to my son as I spend more time with him.
Although I knew the Lord before I came here, at Abba’s House it became a personal connection. I can hear His whispers guiding me. If I win my upcoming court case, it will be because of God, Now, I’m walking with God holding my hand, and capable of taking care of my child and showing him emotional aspects of life he’s never seen before.
The impact on my relationship with my son is already evident.
Recently, he woke up from a nap, and when he didn’t immediately see me (I was just around the corner), he said, “I thought you weren’t here, I thought you left.” That moment showed me he’s getting used to me being present and reliable. My mind is on him now. The words that come out of my mouth are steady toward his needs and wants. I’m not constantly talking about my ex or looking for my next fix. My goals now are clear: shared custody of my son, a new apartment, a new beginning, and a stable job. I sometimes struggle to see myself above “low-rank” job positions, but I’m working on having better thoughts about myself. But with God, I know all things are possible.
