Ashley’s Learning to Open Up

My story hasn’t been easy. Years ago, when I was a manager at a quick-service restaurant, I was working every hour I could to provide for my kids. While I was at work, a family member made a mistake that caused DSS to step in and take my kids away for almost six months. It broke me. I felt like I was being punished for trying to do the right thing. I learned the hard way that being a good mom isn’t just about working and providing—it’s about being present too. When I had a chance to come back to Asheville and try to get things back in balance, I moved in with family, but taking in a mom and five kids is hard – even when you love someone.

So, I had to move out and make some hard decisions. It may not be easy for others to understand, but my sister agreed to care for my oldest girls so they wouldn’t have to change schools. Then I brought my youngest three with me across town to the mission. When I arrived at the parking lot of Western Carolina Rescue Ministries, I almost didn’t come into the building. I was afraid of the unknown, but when I walked through the door and asked if they had any space, they said yes. I couldn’t believe it.

At first, it was just me, my three youngest. However, I missed my older girls terribly. I wanted to be active in their lives, so I asked if I could bring all five of my kids. The director, Miss Angie, said, “Absolutely.” That meant everything. From then on, we all had a place to call home while we reset our lives. Miss Angie is firm when I need it, but she’s also one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. I’ve wanted to pack up and leave before, but she looked me straight in my eyes and said, “No, you’re not. You’re here for a reason.” And she was right. I’ve always been the protector and the provider—the one everybody calls when something goes wrong. But I never had anyone like her to call when I needed help.

Here, I’m learning it’s okay to need people. It’s okay to heal. I’m learning how to be the kind of mom who can be all that I can for my kids, and not just the financial provider. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I’ll sit in chapel, on Sunday and Monday mornings and think, How do they know I needed to hear that today? It’s like God’s using this place to talk straight to me. Throughout my life, when pain came, I was a runner. When things got hard, I’d pack up and go. But being here has taught me to stay put, face things, and grow through them. Here, I feel good. My kids have structure. They wake up, make their beds, and take pride in their space. My teenage daughter – the one who pushed back so hard – is now making straight A’s.

Miss Angie even made her a special certificate and threw her a party. That meant the world to both of us. Spiritually—I’m finding my way back. Being here has reminded me that God is still real even though people mess up. I know Him, but I want to know Him better. I want to heal and grow closer to Him again. The old Ashley acted before thinking. The new Ashley is learning patience. I’m learning to write things down in my journal instead of blowing up. I’ve never felt so safe or so seen. I never used to let anyone see me cry, but now, if I’m having a hard day, I can sit with Miss Angie and just be honest. I’m working on arranging housing, and I’m on a waiting list to get my one-year-old into daycare. Once that happens, I’m heading straight back to work, but now I know how to work for my kids without sacrificing my time and relationships with them. Happy Thanksgiving!